Ozzie Girl

Lyrics

So, um, actually, I was in love with this fella's best friend. He was waymoregood looking, and,um... anyway, he fancied my bestfriend, so that kinda screwed things up for me, but I thought, you know, if I get together with the best mate, I get to hang out with the guy I really like. So I did, you know? Um, but I was a virgin, and he was not. That's true. He was also, I think, a drug addict already. But, um, anyway… so we hung out as a foursome a lot. He was a terrible kisser. And the other guy looked like a really good kisser. I used to watch the others kissing, and it was, like, hot. Really hot Anyway, finally, we go to this party, and my sister is dating this-guy-I'm-seeing's brother, right? So they go off for a wander in a field, and I know what they're going to do. And then the guy I'm seeing says, "Do you want to go for a walk?" And I'm like, "Oh, shit", but I went, "OK, sure!" And he was leaving that night to go to the airport, so I thought, you know, what can go wrong? If it does go wrong, he's leaving, so… you know, if he abducts me, he can only abduct me for, like, an hour So then we go for a walk, and, uh, we lie down in this field. And there's a full moon, and it's so romantic… except, it's not romantic, because there're fucking prickles all over my ass and, like, in my head and my neck. And he's, like, dry-humping me. But I just go with it, you know? And then he's, like, getting his donger out and putting on a you-know-what... And then he goes, "Guide me." And I'm like, "No."